


Reflection

by applecup



Series: A Series Of Choices And Actions [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, fun with vision quests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 04:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8386741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applecup/pseuds/applecup
Summary: While pursuing Nomen Karr's mysterious padawan on Tatooine, Eirnhaya Illte has an encounter with another self, care of a vision in a cave - or possibly just an overdose of sunshine.





	

Eirnhaya had always known, somewhere at the back of her mind, that Sith and heat were not a good mixture. Korriban and Ziost were cold worlds, after all; Dromund Kaas might have been temperate (its capital, obscenely, positioned in one of the most humid areas of the warmest continent), but that was one of the many reasons she'd come to dislike it.

It wasn't until she woke up in an ice bath on Tatooine, though, that she fully grasped how much this was the case. She'd been able to feel a headache coming on, but had put it down the unrelenting sunlight - incorrectly, apparently. It was an unfortunate, highly embarrassing, setback - one that she'd sworn both her companions to secrecy on, even as she knew that Baras was going to hear about it the moment her back was turned on Quinn.

(She had to admit, though, if only to herself, it had felt nice when Quinn was taking care of her; his gentleness when applying kolto gel to her sunburn was unexpected, and almost intimate. The moment he'd become aware she was actually _awake_ , of course, that intimate feeling had evaporated into his stock-in trade professional awkwardness - she went back from being a person to a Sith, with all the distance between them that implied)

In the time since, Eirn had taken to wearing a long, loose headscarf and light - _light!_ \- robes to keep the sun off her skin, and - reluctantly - adjusted her work schedule to avoid the hottest parts of the day; Vette found the whole arrangement hilarious, dissolving into a puddle of high-pitched blue giggles that had lasted for exactly the length of time it had taken for Quinn to say the words 'shock collar'. Eirn had shot down the idea of Vette being collared again almost immediately, but the mood had already been thoroughly soured, and Vette was still refusing to acknowledge him.

(Quinn was also sulking, though he was the more likely of the two to deny it; as useful as it was to have another pair of hands on the ship, Eirn was starting to wonder if her decision to bring the man aboard had been entirely sound. For one, Vette had quickly sniffed out proof to Eirn's suspicions that he was still Baras's man; for two, this was not the first time his clashes with the Twi'lek had caused the mood to evaporate faster than a puddle on this forsaken rock. Eirn was just waiting for the third fuckup to manifest itself, and pondering which planet to leave the man on when he did)

At least in the shade and relative cool of the oasis grotto, Eirn could tug the headscarf down; left it tucked around her neck, but gave herself - her _scalp_ \- room to breathe. Even with adjustments and concessions made, she still found herself struggling in the heat, and was rather looking forward to being able to leave this place. (One reason among many Quinn's griping about the heat got on her nerves... humans were far more adaptable to heat, far less prone to suffering for it, and yet apparently far more inclined to _complain_ ).

'This seems to be the place,' she mused, half to herself - taking another long swig from her canteen, before heading further in.

'Uh... Eir?' Vette was trailing behind her, scuffing her feet on the sandy rocks as she walked.

'My lord,' Quinn murmured, barely loudly enough for her to hear, 'There's nobody here...'

'Shut up,' Eirn replied, 'Both of you.'

The Force was strong in this place - she could _feel_ it, so much more than in other places on this forsaken dustball. It wasn't difficult to understand why this had become a place of pilgrimage for the natives - or for the Jedi, for that matter.

'Keep a watch on the entrance,' she added, before heading towards the edge of the oasis - where the sand met the water. 'If anyone tries to interrupt,' she added, 'Kill them.'

'My lord,' Quinn replied - bowing deferentially, of course. The man was every inch a cowering Imperial, something Eirn found alternately amusing and infuriating.

'Whatever,' Vette just replied, ignoring the glower Quinn threw her - scuffing her heels in the sand, before finding a rock to sit on while Eirn did her thing.

Both of them were more interested in _her_ than the perimeter; Eirn could feel them watching her as she began her meditation, knelt at the water's edge. Their wary curiosity; Vette's irritated boredom, Quinn's impatient tension. Neither of them believed she'd find anything in this place, even as both had witnessed the power of the Force. In truth, Eirn wasn't certain what - if anything - she expected to find here, either; there was a high chance that anything she _did_ see was just a further round of heat stroke, which was the entire reason she'd brought Quinn along at all. Still, she mused, she'd come this far, and refused to have suffered for nothing.

_Feel the heat. Feel the sand beneath it. Feel the rocks that lie beneath it. Feel the air; its currents, its stillnesses. Feel the shapes it carves in the earth, day after day, aeon after aeon. Feel the desert..._

-

When Eirnhaya opened her eyes, she wasn't even certain of what she was seeing.

The Sith who stood in front of her was familiar, far too much so; she wore the same robes, over the same armour - the same headscarf, loosely wrapped around her neck and shoulders in the same manner. She wasn't quite a mirror, though; the Sith who stood in front of her had no scar gouged across her face, and wore her hair long and intricately braided. She was still _her_ , though - had the same slightly stubby facial markings, held herself with the same almost-arrogance that Eirn attempted to project to the world at large.

'You're-'

'You,' the almost-her replied, smirking a little to herself. Her voice sounded odd - hers and not-hers, at the same time. 'Or rather,' she added, 'I'd be you, had you the courage to walk the path of _true_ Sith.'

Eirn stood, eventually, glancing cautiously around. The two of them were the only ones in the grotto; Vette and Quinn's presences could be sensed, extremely faintly, but they were nowhere to be seen.

'I _am_ Sith,' Eirn replied, cautiously - not quite a retort, but almost.

'You are,' her almost-twin replied, 'And you aren't. Your blood grants you the gifts of our ancestors, but you shrink from all that they aspired to. All that they _were_. Even mother embodies our heritage more willingly than you.'

'I have standards,' Eirn replied dryly - crossing her arms defensively, 'and desires of my own.'

'You have weaknesses,' her twin countered, 'You have fears and poor judgements. And you of all people,' she added, smirking, 'Should know that Sith can _taste_ fear. But that, my dear me, is why I'm here. It's not too late for you,' the not-her added, almost purring.

'Too late to, what? Give up what little of myself I have left?' Eirn retorted, irritated at this line of interrogation. She'd come here looking for a map to a Jedi, not a lecture from a hallucination.

The other-her, though, apparently picked up on this - because she laughed, a dark and deeply unpleasant noise. 'Do you really think,' she said, 'That this benighted Jedi won't be able to peel away all your self-deception, and see what kind of weakling you really are? That the loathsome Light you linger in won't be your undoing all in itself? You've tasted the darkness,' the other her said, smiling all the while, 'it and its sting, and you know its power. You're just too afraid.'

'I am not afraid,' Eirn replied, immediately - even as she knew it was-

'Lies,' her reflection said, equally immediately. 'You can lie to yourself,' she added, 'To your slaves, to Sith, but not to me. If you hadn't been,' she continued, 'If you'd embraced the darkness, if you were truly Sith... this,' she said, reaching up with one hand - tracing the scar that ran across Eirn's face with one finger, 'Wouldn't even exist.'

Eirn reacted to _that_ immediately, snatching the apparition's wrist and yanking her hand away from her face - from the scar, which _itched_ with humiliated pain. 'You're not even real,' she hissed.

'I'm as real as you are,' her reflection purred, pulling her wrist sharply from Eirn's grasp. 'Perhaps even more real. You, after all,' she added, beginning to pace, slowly, 'Are nothing but a lie, yourself. You tell yourself that you are Sith, you tell others this same lie, but when called upon to act as one you cringe and pull away.'

'Acting only in the manner demanded of you is hardly _freedom_ ,' Eirn retorted, glancing over the not-her once more. Philosophy generally bored her stiff - the intricacies of Sith orthodoxy and heresy had interested her only as far as they absolutely had to, and Eirn had learned the hard way the manner in which Sith were allowed to be free.

The not-her only seemed amused by that, though. 'Then prove it. If you are truly Sith, if you are truly free, you should have no problem in striking me down.'

The apparition armed herself, at that - wielded two sabers, not one, each with a bright red blade. Eirn hesitated, for a moment - just for a moment, just for long enough for the apparition to look at her and begin to laugh, before she drew her own blade in turn - its own crystal still the red of Sith, even if she winced as she realised that, too, was a lie - was far from what she _wanted_ in her saber.

The apparition moved in a blur - fast, free, and furious, her attacks wild and her blows hard and sharp. It took all of Eirn's focus just to keep up with her - to counter the blows from both her opponent's sabers, never mind to make any of her own. Their sabers sparked and hissed, as they clashed; for a moment, Eirn wondered if she could even be wounded, in this vision, and she began to bait the other Sith into an opening to find out. The apparition took it, too - seeing a weakness and pouncing, like any Sith would - but Eirn was ready for her, springing the trap and plunging her saber into the unthinking apparition.

'The Darkness blinds you,' Eirn hissed, twisting her saber in the apparition's gut. 'It blinded him, just as it blinds Baras. I will _never_ make that mistake.'

She deactivated her saber, at that - stood back, glancing over the apparition. The not-quite-her still stood, somehow; slumped, blood and pain leaking from the wound in her gut, but held herself with the proud aura all Sith did.

'You're right,' Eirn added, 'I _have_ tasted the darkness's sting, and I was still the one who walked away. Why would I desire to wield a power that I have bested?'

Her unreal almost-twin just laughed a little, at that - weakly, unhappily, but laughed all the same. 'You are certain of your path,' she replied, 'I'll grant you that, my darling me. Walk it, then,' she added, 'But know this: the Light can blind you just as much. Be careful, my beloved self, that you do not drown in a trap of your own making.'

She was gone, at that \- as was the grotto, light and darkness one and the same for one eye-watering moment before the world rearranged itself. A desert - Tatooine's suns high in the sky, the horizon bare save for landmarks that meant nothing to her but imposed themselves on her memory all the same. And there - in the midst of it all, improbably, a lone stone building, almost invisible against the sands - home, Eirn could feel, to a light that her shadow-self would have found even more repulsive.

' _Your path lies before you, my sister_ ,' the apparition's voice whispered - not into her ear, but right into her mind. ' _I will yet see you at the other side._ '

-

'Oh come on, that's bantha dung even by _my_ standards-'

' _Vette! Language!_ Miss Breev-'

'Don't _Miss Breev_ me-'

Eirn opened her eyes to the sound of an argument bouncing off the walls of the grotto - so much for peaceful meditation. At least, she attempted to tell herself, if Quinn and Vette were arguing, it meant that they were talking to each other again. Technically.

'-anyway, aren't you supposed to be keeping quiet, Eir needs to do her weird Sithy thing-'

'-would it _really_ kill you to show Lord Illte some respect-?'

'I show her plenty of respect! _Actual_ respect, not spineless bootlicking!'

It was difficult to tune out the argument while Eirn sketched up a rough map of the landmarks the vision had shown her, but she tried; hopefully Breev knew the lay of the land well enough to make some sense of her scrawlings.

As a child, Eirn had frequently looked over the maps her parents studied with disdain, unable to grasp why the ancients had made such inaccurate, frequently unhelpful, maps. Looking at her amateur efforts here, though, she realised that people like her were probably the ones making these maps - or at least, the versions of them preserved for posterity.

_Dear historians of the future: I am very sorry. Sincerely, me._

Standing up, though, she dusted herself down - picked up her datapad, and made her way over to where her tagalongs and their guide were having their... spirited disagreement. 

'If you two don't stop bickering,' she said, dryly, 'I'll feed you to both to a sarlacc and replace you with Jawas.'

Quinn, of the three of them, jumped the most - had the good grace to look embarrassed by his behaviour, too, though his own burgeoning sunburn did something to hide any flushes.

'I apologise, my lord. I should not have let the situation get the better of me.' He was, of course, was the very model of an Imperial bootlick. Eirn could never quite puzzle out if he was like that all the way down, or if he harboured as many masks as she did, and wasn't entirely certain she wanted to find out.

'Please,' Vette just drolled, interrupting him, 'You'd miss me too much. Plus, Jawas smell. And you'd wake up with half your ship owned by a Hutt and the other half made into droids. And-'

(' _Quiet_ ,' Quinn hissed, glaring at her; Vette just grinned, knowing that she'd gotten under his skin.)

'Here,' Eirn said, handing Breev her datapad. 'This came to me in a vision. Can you make any sense of it?'

'No,' Breev replied immediately, pushing Eirn's datapad straight back into her hands.

Eirn blinked in surprise; she was no artist, never mind cartographer, but surely it wasn't that bad. 'Excuse me?'

('Miss Breev,' Quinn started, irritated, 'You would be wise to remember-')

'That place is beyond the Forbidden Pass. You cannot go there,' Breev replied, ignoring Quinn. 

'Ooh,' Vette piped up, 'Spooky name. What's so forbidden?'

(Quinn shot Vette another irritated glare, but refrained from saying anything)

'It is a place of great danger,' Breev replied - she looked (and _felt_ ) genuinely spooked by- whatever it was that was there. 'Nobody who ever goes out there, survives.'

'The _galaxy_ is a place of great danger,' Eirn replied, dryly. 'Besides,' she added, 'My quarry ventured there, and survived. I will follow.'

_Just... maybe not until it's a bit cooler_ , she added, silently.

(She did wonder, for a moment, if the vision had lied - if this was a trap or another test - before rationalising that, having survived Korriban, there was little this galaxy could throw at her that she could not overcome) (and if it came to it, at that, she could always just send Quinn in first)

Breev wrestled with that thought for a long moment - glared, for a long moment, before finally relenting. 'Very well,' she replied, eventually. 'I will tell you how to get there. But I cannot follow. I _will not_.'

'You weren't,' Quinn replied dryly, 'Supposed to follow us _here_ , either.'

'And yet it's just as well she did,' Eirn replied, shooting him a sour look. 'I thank you for your assistance, Miss Breev. On my return, I will be sure to communicate my gratitude to Lord Baras, as well.'

Breev made a small half-bow in response to that. 'It has been an honour, Lord Illte. I must return to make my own report to Lord Baras. Should you not return-'

'I will,' Eirn replied, firmly. 'You can count on _that_.'


End file.
